How to Prank the Guardians
by Zorua Illusion
Summary: Or the five times Jack and Poppy pranked the Guardians (plus one) and the one time that the Guardians pranked them back. Remember those blackmail pictures I mentioned in JaHC, and the pranks in PO, SOL? Well, here they are. Rated for a cuss word in a quote. Oneshot.


**How to Prank the Guardians**

Or the five times Jack and/or Poppy pranked the Guardians and the one time someone got them all. (Tie in with Poppy Overland, Spirit of Laughter, and a few hints of Jack and His Camera.)

Remember how I mentioned the blackmail photos in "Jack and His Camera" and the pranks in "Poppy Overland, Spirit of Laughter"? Well, the troublesome duo has struck again! This is a list of the pranks pulled by the Guardian of Fun and Laughter Spirit. Man in the Moon, you'd better tell the other spirits to run and hide… it's a prank war!

Okay, so, little bit of a back story here:

Jack and Poppy were rarely ever bored. There was so much to catch up on after 300 years, and an infinite amount of children to have fun with and make laugh! Unfortunately, winter had to give way to summer, and where Jack went, Poppy was sure to follow. (She explained to him how her powers worked, but it didn't make entirely too much sense to him. He supposed they were very similar to his own, like how he didn't need to be there to cause a snowstorm, but it would be more fun if he was there.) So summer in the northern hemisphere was basically a time to hang around in the permanently winterized cave of Jack and Poppy's (because seriously, southern winter was basically a few blizzards in Antarctica). Well, after picking up a friend.

Neve the polar bear was Poppy's Christmas gift to Jack (that the author forgot to add into Poppy Overland, Spirit of Laughter. Oops!). He was rambunctious as a cub, climbing into things and destroying them as he became more playful.

That was two years ago, and now Neve (as he had been dubbed) was a fully-grown polar bear, who the Man in the Moon graced with the power to live as long as Jack and his sister and a few winter powers of his own, able to help Jack in spreading winter fun.

Speaking of helpers, there were other new people in the world. Well, not really _people_, per say, but the point still stands.

Sandy's sand had a mind of its own, Tooth had the extensions of herself (the mini fairies), North had yetis and elves (who were useful, just not very good at making toys. Hey, the legend of the two shoemaker elves had to come from somewhere, right?), and Bunny has egg golems and the googies have legs to help him out.

So, why not give Jack helpers?**

And that's exactly what happened. Jack had his suspicions that Mother Nature had selected the helpers for him, seeing as they were completely… erm, well, Jack isn't too sure as how to describe the _penguin_ _army_ that became his helpers, other than as, well, an army of penguins.

Seriously, those guys could pack a punch as well as they could do a snowball (which was extremely well, thank you)!

They pretty much hung out in an igloo village in Antarctica, somewhere near but far of the black-sand-and-ice statue. (Jack was seriously debating asking Sandy to come down and help him get rid of it, or at least turn the black sand golden.) They were like Bunny's egg golems- defending one of Jack and Poppy's three homes (they had a little area they hung out in during Southern Winter in Antarctica, in addition to the cave and North's Workshop) and also made snowflakes. (Jack could do this perfectly well, but they were so much _faster_ than he was, and besides, they couldn't make his _children play*_ snowflakes.)

_Okay,_ back to the main point… Jack and Poppy felt the beginning dregs of boredom coming on, so, what does the immortal sibling duo do before they get bored?

Create a prank list.

So, that's exactly what they did, each prank having a specific target, even coming up with a few against each other- not an uncommon occurrence, besides, now each other was fair game, as they had been warned.

(The two former Overlands loved this- it reminded them of what they did when they were human, only now Poppy had a larger part in the pranks.)

So, here's the story of how each and every Guardian was pranked, and even one who wasn't a Guardian.

**VICTIM****TARGET**** GUARDIAN#1: E. Aster Bunnymund (The Easter ****Bunny****Kangaroo**** BUNNY. Sorry, Jack took the computer for a second there.)**

_Prank #420- (Bunny) Freak him out._

While the Frost siblings were good at planning, they weren't exactly sure on how to do this.

Until one day Poppy was going through Jack's hoodie. (Once again, he was carving ice, only this time at the cave. Neve was sitting still, allowing Jack to carve a life-like model out of ice. He had taken his hoodie off as a precaution, and Poppy was curious and had half a mind to prank him.)

"Jack… why do you have a _jackhammer_ of all things in your pocket?"

The chipping of ice stopped.

"Hm?" Jack questioned, walking over to his little sister.

"Why do you have a jackhammer? And how does it even fit in here?" Poppy repeated.

"Oh, that was a present from North the Christmas before you came back. It also repairs itself and changes shape and color. I like the hoodie though, that's why it stays like that. I have a jackhammer because I might've gotten a tad bit obsessed with seeing how much the pocket can hold… and because I found it funny."

"Jack and jack?"

"Something like that." Jack smirked.

Poppy's mind started to work overtime. A grin spread across her face.

"Hey Jack, I found prank #420."

Jack jumped on top of his staff, waving a hand at Neve to say that he was free to go. The polar bear lumbered off towards the forest.

"Tell me more."

So Poppy explained her plan, her brother's smile spreading as she went on, eventually becoming as wide as her own.

"When should we do it?" he asked.

"Right now." Poppy beamed.

And so began prank #420. Jack and Poppy searched around for some decent rocks, which were the color of Bunny's egg golems. Poppy went to tell the egg golems of their plan and to get measurements for how much would be needed.

The two met up a few hours later, both with successful stories. Jack went and used his jackhammer on the rocks, turning them into nothing more than dust within about two hours, and Poppy went to go hide the golems.

(You see, Bunny trusted Poppy in there, and Jack to an extent, but only if Poppy or a googie or golem was supervising him. That's how she was able to get in and out without Bunny catching her. She just needed to be sure he didn't overhear the plan.)

So Jack, with help from his army and polar bear, went to the Warren and dumped the sand in a large pile, frosting it just a little to make sure Bunny knew it was him. Now all they had to do was wait, as Poppy had told a googie to go tell Bunny something to get him over there.

"Alright, where'd you hear the machine?" Bunny's accent rang out across the field. **(A/N: Sorry, but I can't figure out how to write accents. As such, just pretend for Bunny and North. Thank you!)**

Jack and Poppy watched from their hiding place as the egg ran towards where the pile of frosted dust was.

Bunny's ears fell flat against his head and he raced on all fours towards the dust.

"_Frostbite!_" Bunny yelled. He started going all around the dust at a fast pace, running his paws through the dust, muttering about "hope", "not", "should I?".

Jack didn't get it, and neither did Poppy, but they took a picture of the rabbit, which was actually much funnier than I described.

Both the siblings and North had a copy of the blackmail. Poppy revealed the trick as soon as the rabbit began to hyperventilate, truly freaked out by the prospect of one of his warriors being _gone_.

Bunny later smacked Jack upside the head, but nothing more, as Neve started to growl at him afterwards.

Prank #420 was crossed off the list with a checkmark next to it.

(As to why it was called #420, no one but the Overlands would ever know.)

**VICTIM****TARGET**** GUARDIAN #2: Sanderson Mansnoozie (The ****Freaking Awesome**** Sandman. JACK!)**

_Prank #92- (Sandy) Volcanic Sand_

If there's one thing that the two siblings can do easily, it's understanding each other. If any found the list, it would be extremely hard for them to figure out what exactly the two are telling each other. This was no exception, as this prank had absolutely nothing to do with volcanoes or the sand they made. It did, however, have to do with the _results_ of volcanic sand, or rather, the color. (Ever hear of a black sand beach? They're normally located around volcanoes, and the sand is black because it's made of eroded pumice, a rough, grey-black stone formed from cooled lava.)

Jack and Poppy were actually pretty well prepared for this one- one can of really ugly purple dye (courtesy of Bunny's dye river) and a lot of work to do while they waited for Sandy to go to sleep. The dreamweaver did not rest often, but when he did, it was impossible to wake him up until he was ready to get up. Normally, the nap only lasted a day, but Sandy had told them that awhile ago, he used to sleep for centuries and not notice anything other than the different buildings and technologies and that many people he had met or seen were buried six feet under or close to it, depending on the species.

The day came soon enough, and Poppy and Jack snuck onboard the sailing sand ship (try saying _that_ ten times fast) and into the Sandman's room. Jack and Poppy almost felt bad, but they knew they wouldn't disturb the slumbering man of sand. He would just a very large surprise when he checked a reflective surface. And besides, the dye was very easy to get out, even if Sandy couldn't use water. All he had to do was take a rag (thoughtfully provided in the Sandman's personal bathroom by the two troublemakers) and scrub for about two minutes and boom! Golden Sandman again. Sandy's hair was avoided, as he would actually have to wash it, and sand and water don't exactly mix well. Or at least, what's what Sandy told them.

The two snuck out after taking a few decent shots with Jack's camera.

Sandy woke up 24 hours after he began his nap to nothing unusual, which was strange within itself. He was pretty sure the Jack and Poppy had plans to prank all of the Guardians, including him, although he didn't think his would be quite as bad as Bunny's. So Sandy walked into the bathroom he had attached to his bedroom (why he had one, he couldn't tell you, because again, can't use water) and looked in the mirror.

Sandy jumped up in shock when he saw that he was the ugliest shade of purple imaginable. He looked at the mirror and scrubbed at a tiny spot in his arm before noticing a white rag and a note to the side of the mirror.

_Sandy,_

_Sorry for the prank, but it was just too good of an opportunity to pass up! Don't worry, none of the pictures were took will be shown to the other spirits or sprites, Guardians included. Heck, if you want, we can delete them, as we probably haven't printed any out by now. Oh! To get the dye of, just brush this rag over your… sand? Skin? Body. Let's go with that. You should be fine in about two minutes._

_Sincerely,_

_Jack and Poppy_

Sandy smiled. It was a good trick, so he'll let them keep the pictures.

For now, at least. As long as he's able to get a minor form of payback, or join in on the next prank.

**VICTIM****TARGET**** GUARDIAN #3: Queen Toothiana (The ****Kickass**** Tooth Fairy. Oh great, not you too, Poppy…)**

_Prank #000-(Tooth) VDO_

Actually, Tooth's prank was actually pretty nice, since she hadn't done anything to them and wasn't a prankster like Sandy. (Seriously, Jack and Poppy swore on their lake that they saw him with a sign that said "Join us, we have pie" on his sand ship.) And besides, she had helped Jack remember his sister, and that was good enough for the Frost Rei Siblings to break their tradition of normal pranks into making a nice one.

And although Jack was still a little sore about the three hundred years of silence, he knew that he had never really warranted a visit from Tooth, as he would never lose his last baby tooth. (Besides, he thought, it was partially his fault. He never really asked for help.)

As for what the abbreviation meant- Victini Day Off (because Jack just freaking loved Pokémon, okay? Poppy liked it, but she preferred My Little Pony. That also explains the prank's number…). The goal?

Get the Queen of the Tooth Fairies to relax for twenty four hours, which was easier said than done.

So, after about four _months_ of planning and asking Baby Tooth and her sisters for help, Jack and Poppy finally managed to make it possible for Tooth to have a day off.

Of course, getting Tooth to _agree _to take a day off is where the prank came in, because first they had to get her out of the palace. Then the mini fairies would take over and Tooth would actually have about 30 hours off, because the mini fairies figures that it would take Tooth about 6 hours to realize that the teeth were still being collected and organized without her help.

So what did Jack and Poppy do?

Well… they kind of pulled the old string-and-door trick and yanked one of Poppy's teeth (which were as white as Jack's) out. She now only had one baby tooth, just like her brother.

Tooth _flipped out_, in both the good and bad sense, and rushed to collect the tooth herself.

"Now!" Poppy said as she saw a flash of the tell-tale iridescent feathers rushing towards them.

Jack launched a snowball embedded with _Children Play!*_ at Tooth. She was smacked on the shoulder, where a few flakes landed on the side of her face, and she started grinning, slowing down her frantic flying before reaching the two.

"You are in _so_ much trouble," Tooth told them, but the grin she was wearing made sure that the two didn't believe it for a second.

"Worth it," the two shrugged at the same time.

"Well, now that you're here, let's have some fun!" And with that, Jack dragged Tooth and his sister into a snowball fight (more like a war, seriously, Pippa, where'd you- JACK. STOP IT).

Poppy took the two of them to a comedy club, where Jack scolded her for listening to the not kid friendly comedians through laughter, so Poppy wasn't really listening. Then they went off to watch some film at Jamie's- How to Train Your Dragon. Jack liked Hiccup because "he's skinny like me a trained a freaking lizard with wings!" Poppy liked Astrid because "You don't see a lot of strong female characters", and Tooth like Toothless because "Neat! Retractable teeth!"

That passed eight of the 30 hours, leaving them with 22. Poppy and Tooth went off to do "girl things", because before, neither of them had really had the time to (Poppy was almost constantly with Jack and Tooth was working). Jack stayed back at the cave, continuing his carving of Neve the Polar Bear (it was turning out quite well).

It took about six hours for the girls to get back, two of them from travel time. Jack greeted them at the cave, where they pretty much just chatted.

And, okay, so Jack and Poppy did have one thing in store for Tooth, but it was just a giant glob of glitter that rained down on her. Jack snapped a picture with his camera of Tooth with an extremely surprised look on her face kind of buried in glitter. The mess was quickly picked up by a joint effort of Jack and Wind that turned into more of a game than anything.

Then it was back out in the snow where they made snow creatures. Poppy made Neve with a penguin from the Army on his back and Tooth made a little mini fairy.

Jack combined both creations by making a snow Tooth, Poppy, and Jack nearby Poppy's structure and placing Tooth's on snow Jack's shoulder, saying it was Baby Tooth.

Jack took another picture and promised to send a copy to Tooth as she was leaving, as it was time for her to go.

She admitted, it was far better to take an actual day out of the palace every once in a blue moon instead of just having a few hours of dancing before headed back to work.

**VICTIM****TARGET**** GUARDIAN #4: Nicholas St. North (Santa Claus ****who's freaking epic****. Seriously, you two, stop that or I will kick you out and turn both of y'all pink from head to toe in this story! And give pictures to the others!)**

_Prank #937- (North) ATTACK! (But not around Christmas)_

Okay, now that that's over with, the two were actually somewhat considerate with their pranks, making sure it didn't interfere with anyone's work, which is why this prank was held in a mostly empty storage room at the Pole. All it had was a few empty crates, but it was perfect for what the siblings had in mind.

So in January, two days before the production lines got going again, Poppy ferried penguin after penguin from the Antarctic to the Arctic while Jack hid piles of snow inside the crates, which were arranged so as to not look suspicious but were amazing defenses. He also (somehow) got the elves in on the plan, so we pretty much had the equivalent of two armies hiding out behind the crates.

Now, all we had to do was wait for North to walk by, and here, the prank would start.

Because, you see, it wasn't just going to be a snowball war. Oh no, that's _far_ too simple, for both North and Jack. If Jack was going to play a prank on North, it was at least going to match the man's outgoing style.

North had to admit, the two really had thought of everything, because when he went marching by the room, a snowball came out of nowhere, missing the yetis on either side of him completely but hitting him on the side of his head. He looked at the two who shrugged and pointed towards the door, which the jolly man opened, only to instantly be assaulted with cries of "ATTACK!" and hundreds of snowballs.

The place had turned into a winter wonderland, with the Frost Rei siblings and their army on one side and North and his yetis on the other. North quickly packed a snowball and launched it at the two, only for Jack's staff to sweep across twice and turn it to smithereens. Turns out that snowballs, unless Jack enchanted them, don't make good substitutes for baseballs.

The two sides had a blast for about half an hour, in which Jack and Poppy plus their army managed to cover North and the yetis (who had grown from their original number of two to about 24, due to all of the commotion) in snow. Now they took out Crayola Paint blasters, which were pretty much spray paint guns, and locked and loaded.

Then they had made sure that North and his crew were every color of the rainbow, plus sparkles rained down from the ceiling, much like they had for Tooth, only on a much larger scale.

Let's just say that Jack and Poppy thought it was totally worth the cleaning they had to do. They got some pretty epic blackmail pictures as well.

**VICTIM/TARGET #5: Pitchiner Black (The ****Boogerman****BOOGEYman**** Nightmare King. Okay, can't really blame you guys for those ones… I heard he's pretty fantastic at the Macarena.)**

_Prank #48- (Pitch) Payback's just like Gravity!_

The name of this prank was inspired by the Green Lantern movie, where one of the quotes is "Gravity's a bitch." I'm not even kidding, it's a legit quote.

_Anyway,_ Jack was still kind of ticked about the whole "breaking-my-staff-and-covering-the-world-in-fear- distrupting-balance" thing, so, thus, the ultimate prank was born.

_Unfortunately,_ due to some things that are meant to remain secrets to mortals, only known by the spirit community, I am unable to post the exact details of said prank. I'm not even allowed to know them- I just remember a feeling of sheer horror, awe, and a large amount of amusement after they told me, then had Tooth wipe the memories***.

Let's just say that it ended with all the Nightmares in different neon colors with matching ribbons in their hair, Pitch's lair becoming a winter wonderland, complete with ice rink, and Pitch himself checking under his bed for anything hidden by Jack and Poppy. Also, Pitch was (somehow) changed to be bright safety yellow, hair, skin, dress/robe thing, _everything. _Also, those bird cage Pitch had? Scrap metal, now, bent in the shape of "Don't screw with us again, or we'll make your defeat look like Heaven. –Jack and Poppy"

Jack got some pretty fantastic blackmail pictures that I'm allowed to remember. Pitch won't be messing with the Guardians any time soon.

**AND THE ONE TIME THEY GOT JACK AND POPPY, BUT NOT REALLY.**

Eventually, though, all prank crusades had to come an end. Although there were still a lot of pranks left on the list, they decided to save them for a rainy day and catch up on some of the sleep they missed. (Sandy was, of course, out of his mind when he heard they weren't sleeping. They never bothered telling him they didn't actually _need_ sleep because it felt nice to have someone worry after them.)

So they went to the North Pole and into Jack's guest room, where they climbed into Jack's bed and fell asleep, just like when they were human.

Sandy snuck in, finally sensing the two being asleep, and couldn't help but to silently "Aw" at the scene.

Jack's staff hung above his bed on a special hook designed for that purpose. The bed was simple, just large enough for Jack and Poppy to rest comfortably together, with light blue sheets and snow white pillows, which were engrained with light silver threads that made snowflakes, each one different. (Jack explained that yes, every snowflake _was_, in fact, different since the time he made them, but he gave no guarantees with his penguin army nor before he became Jack Frost. Also, one time he had made a storm with every snowflake exactly the same, but that was his very first one when he didn't know very much about… well, anything really.)

But to see Jack curled protectively around his sister, who was snuggled up close to Jack despite the cold aura he radiated, was probably the most precious thing Sandy had seen since those kittens back in Moscow. Sandy snatched Jack's camera from his hoodie pocket (the hoodie was hanging on a hook, once again, designed specifically for that purpose) and took a picture.

Sandy sent the two a dream, which turned out to be them ice skating together, no ice cracking and no drowning involved.

Sandy took off, leaving the two to rest and recover. Then he'll ask to join.

**RANDOM BITS OF COMMENTARY FROM JACK AND POPPY**

_Jack typing_

Poppy typing

**Prank #420-**

_Oh, I remember that! I wish you all could've seen Bunny's face. It was worth the almost heart attack we gave him._

Worth every second. Anyway, the reason it's called #420 is because we found it hilarious that the number 420 has something to do with marijuana, which is a plant, and plants grow in the Warren. Did you know marijuana was used as paper before some guy printed all these "horrid" things about it because he put stock in tree paper and had an influential newspaper? Talk about greed.

**Prank #92**

_Just put it down as we actually like… err, can this be considered living since we're both technically reanimated corpses?_

…I honestly have no idea.

_We should look into that._

**Prank #000**

_I really could've asked for help, I just wasn't sure how to go about doing it- Sandy was always busy, although he did at least say "hi" from time to time, North was also busy and completely unaware of my attempted break-ins, Bunny just hated me, and Tooth was always busy and I never lost a tooth because I'm a spirit, so it's not like she had any reason to come. So, yeah, she ever really did anything to deserve a really mean prank from us._

I do have to admit, the glitter wasn't really embarrassing. It made her prettier, somehow…. Jack, are you blushing?

_Definitely not._

Sure…

**Prank #937**

_Just don't bother North around Christmas. Seriously, pranks may not be about manners, but it's just common courtesy, like not pranking Bunny on or around Easter, or Sandy or Tooth while they're in the field._

Seriously, you guys. Remember the rhyme: Harmless fun for everyone. Otherwise, it's just mean.

**Prank #48**

_The one exception to the rhyme. I still am sore about the whole "upsetting the balance" thing. The staff? Not so much, I can fix it pretty easily._

Hurt my brother and I'll show you the things Hellbringer, a friend of mine, taught me. She has that name for a reason, you know. I wonder how she's doing?

_Didn't she say something about having to go check on the village?_

Yeah. I'm still curious, though.

_We'll visit there after we finish this._

**And the one time they were caught.**

_Sandy took a picture of us when we were napping? Good job, Sandman._

_You know, we should totally invite him on the next crusade._

Agreed.

**A/N: Okay, a combination of book, movie, Internet, and my own imagination went into this story, which might help place some of the more jagged pieces together.**

***Spells are popular in the book series. **_**Children play!**_** Is the spell I believe Jack unknowingly or perhaps knowingly uses in his "special snowflakes". I have theories on all the spells on my profile.**

****Jack's Helpers- I freaking love penguins, okay? Anyway, all the other Guardians have helpers, so maybe it's a Guardian thing? That's my theory, anyway. Also inspired by a picture that had Jack yelling at the sky "My army is ready!" with a bunch of cartoon penguins gathered around him. So… yeah.**

*****Some memories aren't exactly that brilliant, so Tooth has the power to place a block over them. It works more easily when you're a child, which explains why children can be so resilient to awful things happening to them.**


End file.
